Why Do We Fight?

Why do people at church sometimes argue and fight? It might seem strange, especially when Jesus said His followers should be known by their love for each other. But James, a leader in the early church, asked the same question long ago: “Why are you fighting?”

James didn’t sugarcoat it. He said the real problem is inside us. It’s not about who’s right or wrong, or which church tradition is better. The reason people fight is because they want something they can’t have.

Maybe they’re jealous or greedy or just want their way, no matter what.

Think about it like this: it’s really hard to argue with someone who’s kind and generous, right? But when we let selfishness take over, fights can start easily.

That’s not what God wants for His people. He wants us to live in peace and work together.

But are there times when it’s okay to stand up and say, “This isn’t right”? Yes. Some things, like leaders being unkind or hurting others, are wrong and need to be stopped.

The church should protect people and stand up for what’s good. But most of the time, the fights we have are not about big things like that—they’re about what we want.

When you have a disagreement with someone, it’s a good idea to stop and think:

• Why does this matter to me?
• Am I trying to get my way, or am I doing what God wants?
• Could someone wise help me figure this out?

When we take a moment to think about why we’re upset, we might realize that it’s not really about the other person at all—it’s about what’s going on inside of us. Maybe we feel left out, ignored, or like things aren’t fair. But instead of letting those feelings turn into anger or arguments, we can bring them to God.

Someday, God will ask us about how we treated others. When that time comes, what will you say? Let’s try to choose love and kindness, even when it’s hard. That’s the kind of church Jesus wants us to be.

Read also: John 17:21-23

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